Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Losing a Friend but Gaining a Vacation Spot!

Christien is moving. It is good.

I met her when I first worked in the music program in 1994. Her two children played instruments and Christien was an aide for the 5th grade math teacher. They had just moved back into the area from England. She was tall and elegant. We are the same age.

She later became the administrative assistant to my friend Cynthia when she became head of the Middle School. They made a great team. Christien is blessed with a brilliant mind for logistics. She was the grease that made the Middle School run smoothly.

After two other heads, she did not get along with the current one who was threatened by her knowledge and ability to move everything forward without him. She was frustrated not being able to do things in a timely manner, watched it all fall apart needlessly then got the blame.

The head of the school encouraged her to join the development department. They needed someone to organize it all. She was perfect for the job. It also had no stress which was such a difference from her other position. She has been in the new job just over a year.

Her former husband informed her last September that he was not employed and would not be paying her alimony anymore. She depended on this alimony to pay her property taxes, her expenses and bought a house nine years ago based on this income. He has not yet found employment. He still has not paid any alimony. He is a lawyer who is remarried. Alimony, unlike child support, cannot tap the spouse’s income. With her income, there is no reason for him to be employed again.

He is a jerk.

Her children are living in Chicago and North Carolina. Her parents live outside Philadelphia. Why is she still here in California?

This has been in the back of her mind for a couple of years. I have encouraged her to move and her daughter has also encouraged her to mover closer to her. What could be better?

So, our friend from the book club was her real estate agent and they sold her house within the second week of its listing. It has a 30-day closing. She is leaving. Really.

She was waiting to be sure it was sold before she informed the school. The financials came through late last week so she resigned yesterday. She told the school that she needs to be closer to her parents right now. Period. No need for any more information.

She also found a beautiful home in North Carolina and is under contract there - paying cash! What a difference in price from California real estate! When she moves into her new home, her former husband will no longer control her life. She will be able to afford it with or without him. If he ever is employed again and pays her alimony, she will bank that money. She is free of him. She is also mentally free of him for the first time since the divorce. She is finally moving forward. It has been thrilling to watch.

So, I am losing a close friend but we will still phone each other often and we have made plans to visit her next year. We haven’t been to North Carolina yet. Now there is a good reason to go!

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