Friday, October 22, 2010

Proudest



What are you proud of from your childhood?  What did you overcome? What decisions did you make well? When were you brave?

I think I am most proud that I was brave enough to learn a traditionally non-female instrument. I learned to haul my large string bass with my head held high ignoring all the stares and comments. I was the only girl bass player through high school and college. When I played with the larger orchestra as an adult, the first chair was a woman. There are just a very few of us.

I am also proud that I overcame a severe fear of public speaking as a senior in high school. I knew it was time. I forced it. I grew to love the power of giving a speech and the control over people’s emotions as I spoke. The sweetest success comes from overcoming the most difficult fear.

I forced myself to sing in public. Solo. Alone. Doing so allowed me to meet Michael.

I had a hard time with math as a young student but had an amazing teacher in high school, Mr. Kane. He made it seem so easy. I devoured it and loved it so much that I worked as his aid for two years. I am proud that I fought through the math haze to become a math junkie.

I made most of my clothes in high school. I had a babysitting job every Saturday, which allowed me to buy fabric every Sunday and wear a new outfit to school every Monday.  I felt very self-sufficient. I was proud of my clothes.

But now, I think I am proudest that my instincts told me to eat well and exercise when I got my fatal diagnosis. I am proud that I took control of my life and will not allow this disease to destroy me mentally and emotionally.

As an adult, I am proud that Michael and I worked for everything we own. I am proud of our relationship and that we are facing the future together. I am most proud of our son.

I really have had a wonderful life.

No comments: