Michael and I were talking the other night about another of Barbara’s blog questions:
Has there ever been a person that you tried desperately to help but you wanted it more than they did?
When we rented our very first house after we married, a family moved in across the street. He was a mechanic and she was a waitress at a coffee shop. She had two kids from a previous marriage. They were nice. They were fun. Boy, did they like to drink.
Michael and I were just babies, barely drinking age. We tried all the latest drinks but always knew when to stop. We soon learned that this couple never could find that line. On Saturday nights, we would combine our food to share dinner together. We would listen to music and they would do their funny 1950’s dances. It was fun.
Always, there was a lot of silence coming from them the next morning, as they would have continued drinking after we left for home. It took us awhile to figure out that the husband had a major drinking issue. It became more evident as he would begin to drink beer after work every night and a beer belly emerged from this skinny guy. They always had money issues and Michael tried to help him out by getting him side work.
For years, Michael tried to help him. Well over ten years. The alcohol continued to flow, their house became dirty and depressing, the children were a mess as they matured and the couple was not willing to change anything. He began to rely on Michael for everything.
Michael backed away very disappointed that alcohol controlled the entire household. And it wasn’t good. The last time we saw them, it was still the same. Everything. It was sad and depressing.
We also had another relative live with us twice while he tried to get his life together. We discovered that alcohol was also an issue with him. Michael found him a job and one day he just didn’t show up. He had been drinking. He was the type of drunk who drank until he passed out. Michael had pulled strings to get him a good job and was very disappointed that the guy blew it. He was fired. Michael sent him packing.
I thought it was interesting that with these two examples, both of Michael’s disappointments, revolved around alcohol. Both people of Michael’s examples are still dealing with their issues. Both have never moved forward into life. They are both still in the same hole they were in almost 40 years ago. So sad. Very disappointing.