I think through the years, that answer would have changed. In the beginning, it was trying to function with the lack of sleep. Later, it was a lack of sleep worrying about him driving around in the early morning hours.
Looking back on child raising, I think the greatest struggle was that he was an only child. I so wanted that not to be an issue for him. He was raised around other kids, especially Robb from the play group, had friends from school and I was even told while he was in elementary school that he did not have any only child issues.
There was always underlying pressure being an only child, as all of our attention and expectations were focused on him alone.
But now I realize that I probably held him closer because he was our only one. When to step in? When to let go? Worried if he was a moment late. If anything happened to him, we had no other. No backup. It was rather daunting.
I don’t think he will understand until he is a parent.
As we are growing older and now that I am ill, I realize that he has the entire issue of dealing with older parents on his shoulders. Alone. No backup.
Quite a burden.
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