Saturday, August 31, 2013

Still Coughing

Tough night. Feeling awful. I woke myself up by coughing so much that I moved to the reclining chair in the family room, which immediately stopped it. Slept sitting up all night! Thankfully, it continues to be in my throat and hasn't moved south into my lungs. I am going to move slowly this morning, do some banking then see if I feel strong enough to cut and blow and water the garden. A quick job. I promise. I know that we will be in the garden most of the day tomorrow so I want it to look nice....Our Anniversary.

I am not happy that I will be sick on our 40th. We had planned to go to Las Vegas until I realized that I didn't really want to be with a ton of people on Labor Day weekend in 100+ heat. Plan B was to stay home, hunt and gather what we wanted to eat and celebrate with champagne at home. A little sun would be a bonus.

When I was diagnosed in January of 2005, my goal was to live along enough to celebrate our 40th Anniversary. In my heart, I really didn't think I would make it but I thought I could die happy if we hit that goal. If I had a snapshot of our lives today, I would have been shocked, relieved, so less anxious about the future. I am functioning. I am only using supplemental oxygen during exertion and sleeping. We can travel. We can live our lives. My next goal? Our 50th Anniversary and somehow it does not seem so impossible.

But with this cold, it was hard to get through the day yesterday and I am so hoping not to share this bug with my mom. We were in a car together and I insisted on wiping the steering wheel and anything else I touched in her car with a disinfectant. Her eye appointment went well, except we showed up over an hour early....he took us anyway. After lunch at Mimi's, we did a Target run. Dangerous but I got out of there under $100.00! A rare event!

I just wanted to be home. By the time I began the 25 minute jaunt over the pass, I was almost too weak to drive. Once home, I found myself in the recliner, watching the wind play in the garden and drifted in and out of sleep. A nap with sunshine and a cool breeze entertaining me. I was able to make dinner and function until bedtime. Barely. This thing has taken a lot out of me. I would love for it to go away, please.

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