Living Well with a Bad Diagnosis - Lung Disease

Friday, October 7, 2016

The Visit

It only took 90-minutes to get to Nancy's new home. She met us in the lobby of her independent living community, which was beautiful and looked like a Marriott Hotel! Gorgeous lobby. We peeked into the eating area (three meals a day), the library and the vast post office/pharmacy/ coffee bar/popcorn/movie theatre area overlooking the large pool. Not bad!

Her apartment was on the top floor with a small balcony and a washer/dryer. Very nice. She literally was walking distance to her doctor's office. We sat and talked and talked before we went to lunch, had fun at lunch then took off for home.

On the way home, Michael mentioned that Nancy didn't have any fire in her eyes anymore. She even said at one point that she was mad at her husband for dying. Anger. Not good. I have seen what it can do in my family when my aunt was so angry at God for taking away her twin. She sat in her house, seething and died of cancer throughout her body within three years. There had been no cancer anywhere in the family for generations.

Nancy also mentioned that she was "down" a lot. Her son's family is nearby and she said that someone always drops in everyday to see her but they are out of town until next week. Her house has not been cleaned out yet and she just does not seem interested in it. As a master gardener, she wants nothing to do with plants anymore. As a master baker, she doesn't want to bake anything, either. It's as if she made a decision to put her former life behind her and forget it. But, still angry.

Nancy is a very soft spoken, intelligent woman who didn't have a lot of girlfriends or was a person who would just jump in the car to do a bit of solo shopping. She and Jay were always together. I know she is spending most of her time in her room.

So many life lessons here. We drove home so grateful that my mom is a firecracker and doesn't NEED me everyday. She made a decision after my dad died so suddenly not to be a burden to her children and, with a bit of steel in her back, she decided to create a new life for herself. It wasn't easy. It still isn't easy but she keeps herself busy. She volunteers at the library, she plays bridge every week, she goes to the get togethers at her independent living place and chats with everyone. She also is a wicked shopper. We are going to have a fun day today. After her rehab this morning, I will tell her about our day yesterday and tell her how grateful I am that she is so independent.

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