Mom and I were laughing about something over lunch when I was overcome with a sense of gratefulness that we were together. Laughing. Happy. Enjoying each other. It is such a blessing that she is active and healthy and that we can have this time of our lives together. I often think of my grandmother who was also very close to her mother and, in fact, they died just months apart. They had been just as close.
So much of me hopes that she doesn't have to bury me. That is just too much pain for a parent to have to endure. When I was given the bad diagnosis, one of two things that drove me to fight it: my mom losing a child and my son losing his mother too soon. You might think that Michael would be first but I always knew that he will be devastated when I die but he would carry on. Having given him my full consent that he marry again, I really don't think he will. I predict that he and William will spend a lot of time together but I really see him moving closer to British Don, where ever he lands. Michael is one strong person who has lots of friends but is still so independent. I know that, with time, he will be fine.
I guess the five deaths so far this years makes me ponder my own. It can happen so quickly. Maybe that was the reason I felt special joy for the time I was spending with my mom yesterday. A reminder that life is growing shorter and to grab these special moments.