The Fading Absent Aunt

I have become obnoxious.

There was some controversy with two of Michael’s sister’s children. Daniel and family came for the visit a few weeks ago. Her daughter, April, had made plans last year to come for a three-day visit and I only found out about it at the last minute. Three days with a two-year old! I would end up in the hospital. She seemed to understand and cancelled her plans.

Michael’s sister helped ease everything but I noticed that April’s feelings were hurt when her brother was able to visit with us if only for a few hours.

I took care of it all with phone calls and e-mails to all concerned and everything is fine. April, her son and mom are planning a visit in late May which will include an afternoon with me at our house then a lunch together two days later without the toddler. Michael's sister said that she will have the twin’s wife baby-sit the 2-year old. I am sure she will be thrilled.

Here comes the obnoxious part: On the phone with Michael’s sister, she said, “Didn’t you know that you are the favorite of all three of my children?”

For the next few hours and the next day or two whenever Michael least expected it, I would say, “Did you know that I am the favorite?” “Hey, I’m the favorite.” “How is it living with the favorite?” There was also a little dance that went along with these oh-so-casual comments.

I know, obnoxious.

It wasn’t until later when I began thinking about my favorite aunt when I was a child. She lived thousands of miles away and outshined the boring aunts we saw most weekends. As it turned out, the boring aunts became less so when we moved closer to the favorite aunt and the idolized favorite aunt faded with reality. I realized that it was the aunt with the least contact who became the favorite. Absence does make the heart grow fonder.

I also realized that is the case with these three kids though they are older – 17, 26 and 33 years old. We may see them once a year and often not for several years. I am the absent aunt who is idolized. When they see more of me, I too with fade with reality.