Size 10

In my mind, I feel that I am the same Size 16 I have been for so much of my adult life. When I look in the mirror, I still see that person yet I know she is gone and not coming back. I look normal now. Not bony but normal. I like normal.

Mom and I visited Macy's yesterday morning before the rehab class to return the pair of skinny white jeans I bought by mistake. Skinny jeans. Really? We found several pairs of other white jeans and pants to try on. It was while I was in the dressing room pulling on a pair of the pants that fit like a glove that I realized that I really am smaller. The size 10 was perfect. A size 10. I wasn't a size 10 in high school.

I told Michael last weekend that I still feel fat after losing this bit of weight. He just laughed and shook his head. He loved me at Size 16, he loved me twenty pounds ago and he loves me now. I am a truly loved woman.

This afternoon is the weigh in with Weight Management Group doctor. I guess I am nervous. I so wish I have lost 10 pounds since weighing in with Mr. B. over a month ago. But in my heart, I think it will be closer to 6-8 pounds. It is always such a dramatic drive to the other side of the city, fighting through so much traffic then having to leave the appointment during rush hour. The ride home can take an hour or two.

To make this all a bit easier, I am having my hair cut and colored this morning before the trek into the city. It will make me feel spiffed up. Then after I crawl home from the city this evening, I will have to quickly load up the bass and head to the orchestra rehearsal at 7:00. It is going to be a long day.