In the Beginning

One morning, I was in elevator at the other rehab going to the 6^th floor gym. It was September 2009. Another woman in a white coat joined me. She was very tall and pretty and looked so very official. I assumed she was a doctor.

She asked about my oxygen system as we both got off on the 6^th floor. We stood for well over 20 minutes and talked about my illness and how it was dealing with a fatal disease before she handed me her card. She was a nurse but one who dealt with end of life issues. We said our goodbyes. The end.

Not quite.

Just over two weeks later, I was in a full sweat as I hopped onto an elevator heading home after working out. There she was in the elevator. Dana. We greeted other like old friends and stopped to talk in the lobby. She had been telling so many people about our previous conversation that she wanted my e-mail before we said another word. She didn’t want to lose me again. It was one of her final days as she had taken a new position at a different hospital. It was just a fluke that we ran into each other again.

She wanted me to consider writing everything down – everything we had talked about. Starting at the beginning. Talking about the process. It needed to be shared with others facing similar issues, not just a lung disease.

A blog.

I am a very private person. I didn’t want to be sued by the school. I had to swear on the record during the Head’s deposition that I would never discuss any of it with teachers, former teachers, parents or former parents of the school.

How can I write about it without exposing the Head, the school and myself? Am I really willing to toss my life into the vast void of the World Wide Web?

Dana suggested that I write it anonymously. Brilliant.

My bottom line was that I wanted to be honest which was so much easier to do without my name attached. I do not allow family and most friends to even know about it. I would have to edit my comments otherwise.

So, dear reader, today’s blog is number 314 and I am closing in fast on one year of blogging. I am considering having it bound for William’s children. They may get to know me only through these blogs, which was never the intent in the beginning.

Thank you, Dana. You changed my life.