Quilting through Illness

Several Christmas’s ago, our son was not with us for the first time ever. It was such a hard Christmas for me. I was feeling horrible and was beginning to wonder if I would live to see another Christmas. 

Suddenly, I felt the strong urge to put things in order. I wrote a simple will. I created a system for my bills and important documents that would be easy enough for Michael to manage. I began telling him where certain things were, what documents from Medicare, Social Security and United Healthcare meant and what to do with everything.

One thing I felt compelled to do was to make something by my own hand to give to William. I wanted to make a small quilt to wrap himself in when I am gone. Like a hug. I wanted to make a quilt to wrap his babies in.

I had made many quilts of various patterns in the past. At one point, all the beds in our house had a handmade quilt on them. Once I began to work at the school, quilt making was put on hold. After I became ill, I returned to the art of quilting and I have made several small baby quilts since I was declared disabled.

A museum exhibit of quilts designed and made by a group of woman in rural Alabama had influenced me. Gees Bend, Alabama. They were superbly “not perfect” quilts. They ranged from quilts made from old overalls to polyester fabrics. They were glorious.

I chose a color combination they used – black and turquoise. Earth and sky. I made a rail fence pattern, sewed it in record time because I really didn’t feel up to it and shipped it off to William. It was very not perfect! I also sewed a little heart hidden in the pattern on the back in one corner.

His girlfriend at the time told me that he didn’t like it. It wasn’t him. I was sad that he didn’t get it. He didn’t understand.

While he was in Hawaii, I drove his car to the grocery store one morning. After shopping, I popped the trunk and there is was. Still in good shape. I was stunned. At least he still had it. I had often wondered if I he had thrown it away.

We have never spoken about it.