Thursday, December 30, 2010

Creeping Fears

The fear factor is beginning to creep into my subconscious. It must be stopped!

I have been accepted into the liver clinic and have an appointment next week. My liver still is swollen and sore, though less so after the latest run of antibiotics. My worry is whether this is a blip that will be handled with medication or is this the beginning of a new chapter. The beginning of a house of cards falling – liver problems beget pancreas problems begets kidney problems etc.

It appears that the liver problem is probably caused by the long-term use of the immune-suppressant drugs that have kept me mostly stable these past six years. They are major drugs that have to do some damage somewhere. Guess they attacked my liver. Or, my liver is fighting back.

Am I going to be weaned from the drugs to give my liver a break, 
which will put my lungs into jeopardy? 

Will I need additional medication to help the liver process the drugs?

I am also worried that I seem to need more oxygen during the day. Is this just a blip or am I going to have to carry and wear oxygen with me everyday?

Am I going to have to again adjust and try to keep moving forward?

My goal has always been to not worry until I have cause to worry. Sometimes that is easier said than done. 

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