This morning, Michael was stunned that I felt this way. He said that it should be a celebration of another year on earth. Another year living through the flu season. Another year without a stay in the hospital. Another year to be with family and enjoy all the friends we have surrounding and supporting us.
He is always a "glass full" kind of guy.
I understand that he is trying to change how I feel but it is still there. I also realize why Christmas has always been the marker for me each year since the diagnosis. There is no number attached to it. No countdown. It is at the end of a year therefore it is my chance to look backwards as well as looking forward.
So on my birthday, I will get lots of warm wishes and phone calls and cards. We will celebrate with a dinner of just two appetizers and cocktails for Michael. Fine. Simple. No fuss. But for the entire day, I will know that I am now one more year closer.
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