Challenges

I almost feel like I got away with something. My yoga teacher was out of town so we had a substitute teach the very small class yesterday. It was fine. It actually was what I should be doing every week instead of the madness that brings me to my knees but, in truth, I missed yoga hell. One woman, who spoke with me afterwards, said it was a bit of a waste of time and she hardly got warmed up. I didn't sweat, barely used my supplemental oxygen so I am looking forward to the rehab class today. I want a tough workout.

My other issue of the day happened before the orchestra rehearsal last night. The woman who was one of the original founders of the little orchestra had returned to play this season. She was the same woman I just told I was not well enough to continue performing with her little violin students. I signed up to play a Christmas concert at a mall with them a few years ago. Well, that worked into a spring concert and then she also wanted to do some summer work. During my final rehearsal with her, she was talking about getting the adults together to work on and to perform ensembles together. NO!!! It would mean three evenings a week in rehearsals while I would rather be spending the evenings with Michael. Plus, I just don't have the energy.

Last night, she was pushing me about my health and questioning why I was not able to play her with group:
You look great. You go to yoga? You work out? How can you still play with the orchestra? Can't you get sick here with all the people?

Very passive aggressive. I thought, okay, you asked:
I am tired. Yes, my doctor told me to take yoga. I work out everyday, which is why I have been able to avoid lung transplants. I play at the edge of the orchestra not within the brass and winds. We don't go to movies, concerts, plays or any place where groups of people gather.

I then had to explain that transplants are not wonderful. They are a treatment not a cure. They will not last forever and only 50% of patients are alive after five years. I told her that if I get a bad cold, it could reduce my lung capacity to 40%, which would be the beginning of the transplant process. NOT GOOD.

She got it. Finally. She tried to hug me then realized that it was not the smartest thing. I told her that Michael doesn't even shake hands anymore. We can't afford to allow a cold or flu to enter our house.

For the first time, she didn't question me during the break. I think we had a breakthrough.