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My mom has had a medical issue the past two months. Three vertebrae have collapsed in her back and she has stenosis – a tightening of the spinal column. This causes immense pain.

She initially went to see her doctor who took an x-ray and told her that she had arthritis. He prescribed pain pill every six hours. She got through Thanksgiving but was watching the clock. She had called him to ask if she could increase the dosage. He mocked her by saying, “It’s only arthritis. I don’t want to increase the meds until after the MRI.” That was scheduled for November 30th. She was in horrible pain.

After the MRI when we discovered it was so much more than arthritis, she had an appointment for an epidural, which was weeks away.

My mom is no wimp but I have never heard her in such pain. People would not allow their pets to be in this amount of pain but somehow it was okay for an 81-year old woman. I was not happy with the doctors.

Before the epidural, I talked her into going to Urgent Care. The doctor there told her to take the meds every 2 hours, if needed. He also gave her a shot in her back, which didn’t last through the night. The pain got worse. She was unable to drive. She lost her appetite. She was down to 110 pounds.

My sister told her to go to the emergency room. They had her waiting in a chair for 4.5 hours. Finally, a doctor saw her and gave her a series of small shots. This happened two days before the epidural.

We drove out the day before the epidural to see her and brought her some high calorie, high fat food. Lots of eggnog and cream soups! I was ready to knock some heads with the doctors for allowing her to be in such pain and not to be a bit concerned. But, the shots from the emergency room were beginning to kick in and she felt about 60% relief. Great news.

The epidural at 5:00AM the following morning went well. The next morning she was feeling so well, she went out to pick up her meds and just walk around. She sounded fantastic. I hoped, as the days go on, that the epidural would give her 100% relief from pain but that was not to be. She still is in a huge amount of pain and is talking with the doctor tomorrow about surgery.

This has been a huge wake-up call for me. I expected my mom to outlive me and suddenly, I realize that she is so vulnerable. At her age, every day that she is not able to move due to pain, she looses muscle and bone mass. She is also vulnerable to pneumonia, which could be a death sentence. We are all concerned about her weight as older people need some weight to sustain them through an illness. She has no backup at the moment.

I’m not ready to lose her.

Next: Shaking My Head