Refocusing on the Positive

After I was diagnosed, going through two lawsuits, being followed by private investigators, leaving my job, adjusting to a whole new life of being diagnosed with a fatal disease, we often tried to focus on our son as he was the only positive in our life. He had begun his life touring with a major group, got his first Gold Record which he gave to us, had his first Grammy nomination, travelled places in the world he had never expected to see, ate at famous restaurants, found himself at a Rolling Stone party at the Chateau Marmont (where he phoned from a corner near a plant) and basically created his career.

Through the years, as the number of Gold Records grew with a Platinum one also thrown in, we got to know the members of the group and we had been to a ton of his concerts in a few states, it became normal for us to hear about him staying at a very famous person's apartment in New York for the summer or a major singer's place in Paris for a few days or eating at several Iron Chef's restaurants. At the end of a tour, I would not ask about the concerts but about the best food he had eaten on the trip. The early excitement of it all became...just a job.

The past few days with the scare of my major pneumonia, we sort of returned to those exciting early times. It has been very difficult mentally. Am I suddenly going to need lung transplants? Will I ever recover from this? We found ourselves trying to refocus on something positive and recently we realized that we are following William's current tour more than usual. He is on the road as head of live sound with a new group for him but they have been around for a decade and just released a new album. Album? Do they still call it that? For their first concert of the two-month tour, they played a major, historic venue in LA this week. I contacted him to ask how it went. William is very critical and he never seems totally happy in his reviews. He usually says it went okay or it was awful or worse. I was surprised when he replied, "It went really well. The kids went crazy." It must have sounded fantastic for him to give it such high marks. Having a good first concert takes the pressure off of his shoulders.

I did nothing yesterday, except to talk on the phone for a couple of hours with my friend in North Carolina and to get the house ready for the housekeepers this morning. While they are here, I am going over the pass to spend the two hours with mom. I expect to be exhausted when I get home. My stamina has been greatly reduced. The good news? Michael is bringing dinner home tonight. Perfect!