Working Through Grief

It is set. The full military funeral and burial in a National cemetery in Riverside for Michael's brother Matt is scheduled for March 8th. Michael's sister Anna is going to host the get together afterwards. Our plans at the moment are to drive the eight hours down to Riverside the morning of the service, stay a bit to see all the relatives then leave heading north to Highway 101 onto Highway 1. From LA to our front door along the coast is a total of 12 hours. We have not driven it since our honeymoon 40 years ago! We will stop for the night somewhere along the way.

I was deeply in the garden and barely heard the phone when Anna called yesterday afternoon. We talked about the services and Matt while I continued to work in the garden. She cried several times. Michael was telling me that it is hard for him to think of his family of five siblings being suddenly reduced to four. He said I would understand one day if one of my siblings dies before me. It must feel strange.

I am happy the services are going to happen sooner rather than later. It has been hard to begin the healing process for his mom until her son is buried. The family was trying to put it off for a few months, which I thought was rather cruel. I remember when my dad died and it was almost a week before his burial. We felt our lives and emotions were put on hold until we saw him safely entombed. It was only then that we were able to begin to put one foot in front of the other and try to return to life. Here is what I wrote about going through the grieving process for my dad:  http://livingwellwithabaddiagnosis.blogspot.com/2010/07/grief.html

It will also be the first time in 25 year that the twin, his lovely wife and the two of us will be in the same room together. My job will be to make no conversation with either that can be misquoted. I will keep myself surrounded by witnesses!

This morning, I feel my seven hours in the back yard gardens in my arms and hands. My poor hands!  There are bruises and there are a few scabs. The earth was so hard that I hand turned all the beds with a little trowel. I slept like a baby last night!

The weather has changed and the couple days of summer have returned to winter this morning. It is cool and overcast. I am going to take it easy all day to recover because tomorrow is going to be a long day.