Too Much Attention

What 5 pounds of Fat and Muscle looks like!

It is beginning to get uncomfortable. I am not used to all the attention. With the huge weight loss and since I began to wear the new slacks and shorts that fit, people have been swarming me with comments. I say thanks. I say 57 pounds since Christmas. I smile.

Women want to share with me that they really want to lose 10 or 20 pounds and ask how I did it. They all seem so disappointed that there is no magic.

The men don’t care how. They just look at me differently and comment how great I look. I am having a more difficult time with that. I talk with them like I normally do but somehow it all feels so different and not a good different.

Michael and I talked about it. He said I have to get used to it. The weight loss is very dramatic and I look totally differently. He said that he sometimes forgets and then sees me. It has taken him some time to adjust to it as well.

My head is just getting around it. My focus has been on just making it through everyday. Keep moving forward. Keep setting goals. I didn’t take the time to try on clothes or buy any new ones going through the process as it was rather quick. Why waste the money? I never focused on how I looked but only on the BMI numbers.

It was all about hitting numbers on the scale for my lungs. I needed a 25-30 BMI to begin the lung transplant process. That has been the true goal.

I am surprised to catch a glance at myself in store windows or my reflection in the glass in the freezer aisle at the market. It surprises me. Who is that woman?

I know it sounds crazy.

It’s an interesting adjustment. Rather unexpected. Lessons to learn.