I have written about our friend Barbara many times. She went to high school with Michael, married one of his friends, they moved to Northern California after he did and we all just continued down life's path. She had her first son, wanted to stay home so she began a daycare. My niece Shelley was her first baby. They had another son and Shelley was with her for many years. Barbara's daycare is the one mom and I hang out with during the summers. She is a calm, talented, smart, thoughtful, amazing person. Shelley was blessed to have had her in her life.
Barbara's mom had a stroke a few weeks ago. It was a very scary time. But suddenly, she was awake, she was complaining that they wouldn't let her smoke, there were glimpses of her old self that came more and more often and pretty soon, she was sent to a rehab center. She hated it. She worked hard to get to her new assisted living apartment on April 4.
She was doing great until Barbara noticed that she was not well. She was hospitalized with pneumonia on the 20 but she returned to her apartment last Tuesday on hospice care. Sadly, she passed away on Sunday, April 27.
What I think is so wonderful is that her mom survived the stroke and was recovered enough to say her goodbyes. What a gift to her children and grandchildren.
As I walk this path, that is the one thing I am so grateful for: time. It is a long goodbye. Sometimes I think a quick death is easier on the person dying but harder on the family. It is so sudden. Things are left unsaid. This long goodbye allows time to make sure that everything that needs to be said is said. Everything is settled.
To live this way is very freeing. But after all, aren't we all dying, in a sense? It is sad that it takes a bad diagnosis to live better. To live making sure that all the relationships are fine.
Our deepest sympathies for the loss of Margie to Barbara, Michael, Brian, Barbara's brother and John.
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