A Year Later

It has been a year since Michael's younger brother died. So much has happened within the family in that year but the biggest change was that his mom had to move from Las Vegas to Orange County. She does not drive and really needs to live with someone. Michael's oldest sister Anna knows that someday she will have her mom but Mary was not ready to move in with her daughter yet. She chose instead to live with her sister. Renting a room. Siblings. It has often been a challenge.

Mom and I were having lunch when I got a text from Mary. I promised to phone her when I got home. Well, I didn't get home until 2:30 and the phone rang. It was Betty from New Mexico. We had not talked much lately so over an hour later, another call came in and it was my friend in North Carolina. Another hour. Finally, I phoned Mary with an apology for calling so late. She said she is doing better than expected. Throughout the year, I have been encouraging her to grieve, to let the process happen and always promised that somehow it would be a bit easier after the first anniversary. She said she was feeling so much better than anticipated. No tears. I was surprised.

She said she was trying to remember all the fun and good years with Matt instead of the final two or three years.  She also was looking at the larger picture: her other four children are all happy and successful, her nine grandchildren are all doing extremely well and she is enjoying her great-grandchildren. She was often a "glass half empty" person so I was thrilled that she was thinking in a more positive direction.

William begins a tour with the first concert in Arizona on the 10th followed by a concert the next night near my brother in New Mexico. They spoke on the phone together on Christmas but they really don't know each other. They are so similar in so many ways. While on the phone with Betty, I gave her the venue information and his cell phone number. They are going to be in the same city on Saturday so they will contact him to maybe meet for coffee or lunch or just a quick chat. They have not seen each other in well over a decade. I so hope they get together. I also hope they recognize each other as kindred spirits.