This has been one rough week. First was the news of Susan's dying. I am still trying to let it settle in my body but I think it might take the memorial service for it to be real and so very final.
For years, I have worked out at the other rehab with two of my former high school teachers. Yesterday while working out at the other rehab, I learned that one of them died 10 days ago. I laughed with him just 12 days ago. He was a kind and gentle soul. How he survived teaching high school kids is beyond me! But, his was the second death notice in a week.
Both deaths were so very unexpected and sudden. Neither died of their illness.
It is feeling like death is creeping a bit too closely to me at the moment. I am worried that the recent problems with my health (pneumonia in September and December) might be an indicator of more crashes ahead. I also realize that no matter how mentally prepared I am, when my time comes to deal with a downturn or when I face lung transplants, it will probably still be a surprise to me. I have to accept that it is what it is. When it happens, it happens. I can compare these feelings to sitting by the bed of my dying aunt yet still so very surprised when she died. Maybe it is the only way my brain will be able to deal with it all.
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