Stress and Goals

Feeling the stress. Mom looked fantastic yesterday and, in fact, had a marvelous weekend. She went to lunch on Sunday with a new person at her complex even though she had surgery Friday. We ran errands, had lunch at Nordstrom before I drove home to make Cincinnati Chili for dinner. The Irish Fiddling rehearsal went well and we are ready for the Friday and Saturday evening gigs.

Stress. Thinking about my sister's visit on Thursday and all that needs to happen before their arrival.

Stress. Mom was having computer issues, which I fixed yesterday but apparently fell apart last night. She is going to the Geeks today but if they can't reset everything, I will have to drive over the pass tomorrow while trying to pull everything together for Thursday's company.

Stress. The sofa is broken somewhere, we phoned, they want photos then will let us know when someone will come to fix it or if a new one will be sent, when it is not on back order.

Stress. I have not heard a word about the one missed test for GERD nor the two tests that were "dismissed" and I should get an appointment sometime in September or October. The appointment with the Lung Transplant Clinic is a week from Thursday so I will beg for their help.

Stress. Preparations for the wedding in 13 days have yet to happen. Nails, eyebrows, hair cut...

But the wonderful moments in this mess of stress will include a lunch tomorrow with my favorite kids, Winnie and Oliver, before they go back to school and conversations with our son. Lovely. He will phone again tonight.

I am so grateful that, even with the stress, life is happening. I am participating. I am functioning. When we were going through the darkest times, I so wish I could have looked forward to now to see that I am still here. Alive. Fighting for my independence.

My personal goals are simple: I want to live longer than my mom. My death would be very difficult for her and no parent should have to bury a child. My other goal is to be alive to celebrate our 50th Anniversary together in just five years. We'll see if I can hit these goals.