My few days without Michael has made one thing very clear: I don't get enough sleep. The last two nights, I have gone to bed at 8:00 and each morning, I wake up around 7:30. Being up by 6AM to spend an hour with Michael in the mornings before he takes off for work then trying to stay awake later than 8PM to spend more time with him after work is not working for me.
I am not sure what to do about it all. I really want to spend as much time as possible with him each day. Maybe I need to make sure I get a nap in everyday but many days are so busy....
This time alone has been good for me. It has been a very reflective time. Meditative. I haven't felt the need to phone anyone, to talk with anyone, to reach out. As the fog clears this morning, I am going into the gardens which is always my zen place. Nothing with me except my own thoughts.
I find myself watching the clock already this morning, counting the hours until I hear the key in the door and the sweet voice saying, "Hello" in a way that is only his alone. My heart always beats a bit faster. I feel whole again.
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