Contemplation

I have begun the countdown to company. The bedrooms have clean and ironed sheets. What a chore! I began making my lists and menus. In the afternoon sunshine, the yards did not need a lot of work so I only played in them for a couple of hours before the fog and cool air back came in.

It feels like a very contemplative time. The calm before the storm. Very busy but time to stop and consider. Life is chugging forward, I am feeling very positive by losing a bit of weight, the orchestra is going well and it should be a great concert in a couple of weeks, mom's health is good, Michael is well, William is happy.

But, always at the very back of my mind, I am preparing for the moment when my lungs fail. When they crash. When the whole process of transplants begin. Will I meet the requirements? Will they find a heart condition that disqualifies me? Will they find something else that makes them shake their head and say, "Sorry."

Sorry.

My goal is to keep eating well. Keep exercising. Keep those stinkin' transplants at bay. Maybe, just maybe I will hold them off long enough to when they finally crash, I will be way too old for transplants.