Retreated From the Retreat

We arrived to the retreat of the PFAC boards at my university hospital early enough to score a seat for Michael away from other humans. He was doing okay, sat through the interesting "conversation" with the big boss of everything. The major guy. The one in charge of everything. He seemed like a good guy. Lots of questions were answered. During a break, Michael said he was feeling worse and left to sit outside in the lobby. I stayed, talked with Jenica, who is on staff and our board, only to learn that her dad passed away two weeks ago of IPF. Familiar IPF.

We had met him and her gorgeous mom here on the coast for a lunch to talk about the anti-fibrotic drugs that were new to the market. He was a very dynamic guy, a big Eastern businessman who retired to a small winery in the Napa Valley.

She talked. I listen. It is so important to tell the story of a death as it helps families to settle it in their bodies. In the end, she felt she had done everything she could for him and said everything she needed to say. It was almost a joyous event, which was so unexpected to her. She also missed the actual death. It was then that I shared that I believe we all choose how we die and who we want to be around us. Clearly, he wanted to spare his children or just didn't want them to see it. Hospice also recommends that family members leave the person dying for 10 minutes every hour to allow a chance to die alone, if that is the wish.

Back to the meeting, we were joined by another big Kahuna in charge of a couple of specific hospitals. He was also a very good guy and only with our university for a year. He was loving the weather here compared to Cleveland, where he use to work. Another good bloke.

After he spoke, they announced it was lunch time and Michael wandered back in while the line was beginning to formed. He was really not well so I said our goodbyes to everyone and we left.

He wanted a "grilled cheese" and a chocolate milk shake at In-N-Out Burgers. Done. For the rest of the day, he was on the new reclining love seat covered with nice blanket and slept. After a light dinner, we were both in bed early, he on the couch.

Right now, he is struggling with sinus pressure and actually just fell asleep on the living room floor. I am leaving him alone to rest today while I spend the day with mom. I haven't been with her for over a week. So much to share!