Meeting Baby Hailey Tomorrow

Dear Hailey,

This 1920 Baptismal gown was made by your great-great-grandmother, Marion H. H. (1897-1954) for her first born, Rita M. H. (1920-2007). She grew up, made her living as a writer and played the piano most of her life. Those talents have seeped into the next generations.

What this little gown represents are all the previous generations that brought you to us. You will hear stories about these long ago relatives, fantastic tales as well as some tragedies. But for now, it will be exciting and an honor to watch your life as it unfolds.

Many generations from now, your tales will be shared as part of our family's stories.

Welcome, Hailey!

Love,

Great-grandmother Colette

Great Aunt

Brunch

Rehab class went well as I made sure I was well hydrated. It was a fun class and Jeannie looked and seemed a bit better. It was a quiet evening, which was greatly needed.

Today, I am meeting a former student for brunch in Palo Alto. We last saw each other about two years ago but this time, we will celebrate his PhD in Economics from an Ivy League Super University. He is in town for training before beginning his new job in Atlanta. Ah, Atlanta! What a fun town! We will talk places to go and things to see. His road to this point was long and convoluted and I so admire that he had the strength to persevere.

While I am with him, Michael will be with mom for her once a year heart doctor appointment. She loves being with him, he treats her like a queen, not an old lady, and they talk as much as she and I do! He'll also buy her lunch.

The goal is to have a totally in-house day tomorrow. I need my strength for the four hours of driving on Sunday to hold the new baby in the family. Mom is very excited. I will try to remember to post the photo of our gift with an explanation before I hit the road Sunday.

Anxiety

Jeannie looked awful when I picked her up for the rehab class on Tuesday. She looked frail, tired and just not well. Yes, she is on hospice but I was still surprised what a difference a few days made to her appearance.

We talked about her situation while driving to class and I am continuing to learn a lot about the whole process of hospice. It can be brutal. Apparently, she is not dying fast enough and they have given her a couple more months in the program to prove that she is failing. Great, with sarcasm.

With that on her shoulders, she was taking too much lorazepam for anxiety, yet was still showing signs of major stress. They changed her medication to 10 mgs. of Prozac. She was very nervous about taking this particular drug every day forever. She shared that with the anxiety, she was now also experiencing depression.

There it was. That was why she looked so awful and not her usual self. I was seeing the depression before the change of medication the day before had taken its full effect.

She is not the type of person to lay down and die. Kind of reminds me of me. She wants to stay out of bed all day, eat homemade food and exercise. I will know that she is close to death when she is unable to do those three activities.

I feel honored to spend this time of her life with her. I am blessed that we can talk about the hard stuff and I can offer some relief by just listening.

Medical Fraud

I received a notice from my university hospital that my personal information had been breached. It was actually a very simple mistake. It happened when someone sent an email to all of us in the ILD Support Group regarding the retirement of Sally, the founder of the group. Thoughtfully, it was sent to gather cards and videos to surprise Sally at her retirement party. The only problem was they included all of our email addresses instead of the usual "group" email that did not even list our names.

Having not spotted the problem, I received a follow up email from the head administrator a few days later when someone there realized what had happened. We were told to trash the email and to empty our trash. I just received a letter in the mail explaining that because the names and email addresses were listed, some personal information was at risk. What that specifically addressed was Medicare or insurance fraud. No Social Security numbers were exposed, though. We were asked to carefully review our Medicare and insurance statements to insure we actually received the services listed as paid.

All because of a simple email.

Do you review your Medicare or insurance statements? I always have and, in the past, spotted problems. It is important. Don't be afraid of contacting Medicare with questions as they are truly the nicest people to deal with over the phone.

ILD and Connective Tissue Diseases

We have a date to visit my niece and to meet baby Hailey. Mom and I are leaving at dawn on Sunday for the long drive from the Bay Area to the Sacramento area. We will take the road right past my dad so, we are going to stop for a visit with him, too. Mom wants to change his flowers and talk with him. It is very sweet watching her clean his area. Shelley lives only another 30-minutes north of his crypt.

The present we have prepared for her will be in the back of the car. It is three-feet long and rather heavy. We must remember to include the note I wrote to explain it all. I will post a photo of it and what was written on the card on Friday.

It was doctor day yesterday. I made the appointments for the sonogram of my belly for the liver doctor, a colonoscopy and today, I will make a mammogram appointment. The next time I am on the major campus of my university campus, I have decided to visit the rheumatology department to find out why I have not heard anything from them regarding my referral back in October 2017. The growth on my hand disappeared but was replaced by a hard knob right on the first knuckle. Clearly, I also have a connective tissue disease, Reynaud's. My poor toes turn a deep maroon, are icy cold and are beginning to become numb. Both of my parents had Reynaud's. I am learning that there is a huge connection of people with an ILD also developing a connective tissue disease and vice versa.

My eye seems somewhat better and I find it so odd that wearing contact lenses is a relief. I don't even notice it until I return to my glasses. To rehab class I go this morning, I will be returning the helpful samples of origami cranes to Sashi along with new paper as a thank you. I made 10 cranes to be on the table at the luncheon for mom's 90th birthday, 5 of them to be included on the boxes of Godiva chocolates with will also have a small photo of mom and dad in their youth on each box as party favors and 1 to be sent with the invitation to the luncheon to her girlfriend and her husband. The 10 on the luncheon table will be added to mom's beautiful vase of the 80 cranes I made for her 80th birthday. The total: 90 cranes for her 90th birthday.

Video Doctor Appointment

Today is a hangout day with mom. We are trying to arrange a trip up to see the baby sometime this week and will swing by to visit my dad on the way. We also got news that Betty sold her mom's house yesterday for an outrageous amount of money. As it was near the new Apple Headquarters, it was all about location, location, location. Betty will now have enough money to keep her mom in a care facility until she dies.

My eye is still bothering me so much. There is a feeling that there is a glop (a technical term!) in it as well as the haze that keeps moving in and out of my vision. Both are driving me nuts as it is so hard to focus. Somehow, wearing contact lenses makes it less noticeable. I also still see the veins in my eye every time I blink, which is due to the high pressure in that eye.

On Sunday, I had my first video doctor appointment ever. It was with my liver doctor and, since I am stable, it was a perfect venue for the appointment. We reviewed my current health and past tests then, he arranged for labs tests and a sonogram of my belly in August. His assistant will be contacting me to make another video appointment after those test results are completed.

I have to say, it was so nice to see the doctor without the long drive into the city, the parking fees and the time a regular appointment would take. If given a choice, you might want to give this type of appointment a try.

Clots

My last blog was about how the entire day went off without a hitch. Everything came together. All loose ends were tied. HA! I should not have tempted the gods! Everything fell apart Friday.

The plan was to stay home all day and work in the gardens. By 10:00, I was in the very back gardens with electric hedge trimmers attacking the overgrowth. It looked fantastic. Leaning over from the waist to gather the piles of fallen camellia leaves, all was well. It was when I stood up that it happened.

Suddenly, I saw a blood clot in my right eye. INSIDE MY EYE. With gravity, it began to drip. When I moved my eye, strands of blood moved as well. Then, more clots. More drips. Dropping everything, I grabbed my cell phone and phoned my glaucoma doctor's office. He was not in but she had him phone me. He kept asking me, "Inside your eye?" Then, he said something one never wants to hear from a doctor, "That is weird."

Since I had seen a retinal specialist group a couple of years ago, I was not considered a new patient so they were able to book an appointment at 1:40 over the pass. Great.

Deep breath. Think. I probably shouldn't lift anything heavy so I left all the gardening equipment right where it was. I was in my gardening clothing, no makeup and a mess. While pealing off clothing, I phoned Michael. He was on the other side of the pass and immediately headed home. By the time he got home, I was ready to head to the doctor's office.

They did an eye exam, my pressure in that eye was 30 (down from 45), took my history then we met the doctor. Great guy. He examined the eye, said he knew what the problem was but wanted a photo so he could show us. It was amazing to see the actual veins of blood in my eye. The clots were there as well. He said it was somehow connect to my acute posterior vitreous detachment of a couple of years ago. There would be no permanent damage, though I was seeing lots of clots and a haze over the eye. The blood would be absorbed but he wanted me to take it easy for a couple of days. It will take weeks for everything to settle down completely.

I have done nothing physical since then but he approved me for pulmonary rehab on Tuesday. We did go to Melanie's graduation party last night and had a really nice time chatting with such interesting people. But, oh my. What a wild Friday.

Fell into Place

It was one of those days when all the loose ends were tied up. Everything from connecting with doctors, making appointments with three doctors, making the reservations for mom's 90th birthday luncheon, giving her eye doctor my secret connection for Cosopf and running a test connection for my video appointment with the liver doctor next week all fell into place. It was magical.

I did notice that when we picked up our rather heavy gift to baby Hailey, I carried it up mom's stairs without a cough. None. Zero. We are keeping this gift quiet as we discovered that my sister can't keep a secret. When Shelley told her they were naming the baby's middle name after my mom, she phoned mom right away and told her. At the shower, where Shelley planned the big reveal to mom, she had to pretend to be surprised.

After the shower, we told Shelley that another gift was coming but it had not been ready. Since then, my sister has asked both of us what it was. Both of us said it was a surprise. We knew she would tell Shelley and, really, to just tell what it is without the note and story behind it would not make a lot of sense.

The Irish Fiddling group was supposed to play at the mansion last evening but I got a text from Leslie on my way home from mom's that gave me a choice whether to play or not. So, I did not play and was asleep next to Michael at 7 PM last night.

Food. Ron's wife Susan brought over some delicious homemade Chinese dumplings and fresh produce yesterday afternoon. I roasted two small organic cauliflowers and four zucchini and made vinegar cucumbers that reminded me of my childhood. Michael didn't understand the cucumbers but it really tasted like home to me.

Today, I am making dinner this morning so it is ready for Michael while I am having my hair done late this afternoon/evening. The day is free otherwise, so I am going to take my bucket and clippers and begin in the back yard to clip some plants then blow to make it clean and pretty.

Doctor and a Jig

Daiso. Who knew? It is like a dollar store for Japanese goods. I found them in a mall and fell in love. Everything from fantastic sponges to stationary to things I have never seen were all in the price range of $1-1.50. The problem was that their web site stated they were in the mall near JCPenney. Nope. While wondering around, I bumped into some security guards who told me it was going to be a long hike, and it was. It was worth the effort and I can't wait to show it off to mom. On line, they are known as Daiso Japan.

I did find the origami papers and watched a video on YouTube to refresh my memory on how to make the cranes. It occurred to me later that I had learned it another way. But, I made about seven of them before I pooped out. They should be finished by this weekend.

With runs to three places for groceries, I also made our breakfasts for a few days - mushrooms, spinach and goat cheese in eggs cooked in a cupcake pan. They smelled really good. For dinner, I made Michael some roasted potatoes and the turkey breast was outstanding.

He got home, cut the grass and noticed how pretty this area right off our bedroom was looking. He is becoming a real gardener. He took this photo.

A very busy day and I fell into bed early. Mom has a 8:30 eye doctor appointment, which means I have to leave my house by 7 this morning. Another long day ahead. The Irish Fiddling group is playing this evening on the grounds of a very famous mansion that was featured on a TV show in the 80s. They are known for their gardens. We will be playing by the bar and pool. Coffee. I will need lots of coffee to get through this day!

Cranes

After the downside of yesterday's blog, the good news is that the device - aerobika - is working really well. I realized it Monday when I was able to climb the stairs to mom's apartment rather quickly with not even a hint of a cough. It is lovely to not cough throughout the entire day, never having to apologize to people who look at me wondering if I am contagious.

Also, my eye is better but I still see the veins in the one eye whenever I blink. Left eye, nothing. Right eye, dark veins. I hope the eye drops will continue to bring down the pressure and these symptoms will be gone when I see the eye doctor in a couple of weeks.

Today, I am making my way to a shopping center I never go to near the city to buy origami paper for mom's birthday luncheon. At her 80th birthday, I had the table filled with 80 origami cranes, a symbol mom and dad loved. Each invitation included a crane and there was another crane on each plate. The cranes were to be reunited. For her 90th birthday luncheon, I want just 10 larger cranes on the table when she arrives and cranes on each plate. They can be added to the 80 that she has in a beautiful glass vase in her living room. There will also be small boxes of Godiva chocolates with mom and dad's photo slipped under the ribbon. So, this morning, I am going to buy the origami papers before food shopping. I also will swing by the restaurant to ask for a specific table - it is a very loud place - and book the reservation.

A busy day ahead, no Irish Fiddling rehearsal tonight as we are playing gigs both Thursday and Saturday. Long story. Another blog.

Beyond Adjustments

 As my health has depleted these past two years, I have learned to make adjustments but, for the first time, I have had to let things go. Mentally, this has been hard for me. I have always pushed myself to do everything with adjustments for the disease. Now, I am realizing that some things must be reevaluated.

My exercise routine is not as strong as it was, not by any means. Though I don't stay home and sit on the couch all day, I currently am not as active as I should be. That worries me. I am trying to figure out ways to add standing, walking and movement into the day.

Gardening is in my soul. It is so hard to turn over decades of work to Michael. He is approaching them in his own way, making decisions to remove so many of the plants that require a lot of attention to create a garden that is easier to maintain.

Performing music has been a part of my life since I was in high school. There is no other feeling than after performing a long classical program with an orchestra. Indescribable. Totally spent yet vitalized. The problem is my instrument. My string bass is so large and so heavy that I am unable to carry it into the venues and rehearsal spaces anymore. The thought of standing for the rehearsals from 7:30-9:30 the evening after the simple hour Irish Fiddling rehearsal now seems impossible as well as having to haul my equipment and instrument. I just don't think I can return to the local orchestra this Fall.

Simple things, like grocery shopping, even needs adjustments. Shopping with a cart? No problem. Hauling the groceries to the car then into the house is becoming difficult. I can still do it if I take it slowly but the whole process is easier when Michael shops with me. We are probably at 50/50 on whether he is with me or not. I am grateful when we are together for this errand.

I must remember that I still make the bed every morning, shower without supplemental oxygen, pay the bills, make our meals, spend time with mom, meet friends for a chat, continue in the rehab class and participate in life. It just now needs more of an adjustment in some areas. I am working it.

Welcome, Little One

Friday morning, around 6 AM, my niece Shelley's water broke so we were on baby watch all weekend. This was her first baby at the age of forty so we were all a bit nervous about the delivery. Will both she and the baby be okay? Will she have a natural birthing experience? Will she need a c-section? 

Well, it was a long wait. Contractions just would not begin, the doctors induced labor and we all waited. And waited. Saturday passed. Finally at 9:53 AM on Father's Day, sweet Hailey Colette arrived weighing in at 7 lbs 13.4 oz and 19.5" long. All went well with mom and baby. She is one perfect baby. 

Welcome to the world.

She is a reminder to me that life continues. The sweetness of life. The beginning of a life. 

I plan to hold this little one in a month or so, whenever the parents are ready for visitors. My mom is giddy with joy.

Meeting, Friends, Gig

And the fun continues. I enjoyed a nice lunch of a grilled cod fish taco while the housekeeper did her magic before we headed into the city. We had the PFAC meeting at my university hospital, the room the full and the presentation interesting. They were looking for our opinions. Oh my, they really heard them. Good and bad. Nice people and they thanked us in the end. Michael and I walked away and felt, once again, we helped to initiate the coming changes. Our concerns were heard and now they are being addressed and corrected. Very satisfying.

On the beautiful drive home along the ocean, we decided to stop at the little place about a mile north of us to split something small for a light, late dinner. We drove into the parking lot, which is next to about ten outside table and there, right in front of our car, sat Randy and Wayne. Our friends.

We hopped out to join them and bumped into another friend. It is rather marvelous living in a small town.

Sitting outside got a bit chilled so after dinner, we invited both Randy and Wayne back to our house. Randy just moved out of the Bay Area for the Sierra Foothills and Michael had a little something for his new, very spacious, fancy garage. They stayed and we all chatted until 9:40! I fell into bed and was asleep within minutes.

I am so not prepared for today. Not enough sleep! After being with mom, I have a gig with the Irish Fiddling group from 5-7 this evening. It is going to be a long day. Hopefully, there will be a nap in there somewhere.

My focus is on Saturday when I am sleeping in, working quietly in the yards and thinking of how to celebrate William's father on Sunday.

Cosopt Found

For those who are on longtime prednisone therapy, you probably have glaucoma. If you have glaucoma, you probably are having problems getting the Cosopt eye drops. The reason for the problem is that the factory making one of the two active ingredients is in Puerto Rico and has been without electricity since the hurricane. It is a problem in more ways than one!

My mom has been having to use individual eye drops of each ingredients, three times a day. Plus, she also has to take two other drops. That is a lot of drops a day. I am just running out of my supply and asked about what to do when I was with my eye doctor last week.

He wrote a prescription for the preservative free Cosopt, not my usual generic drops. While making my next appointment, the woman at the front desk told me that they had a connection to a pharmacy in Florida who was offering the preservative free Cosopt for cash/credit card only (no insurance). Three months for $135.00. I was skeptical but asked her to FAX the prescription to them.

The next day, they phoned, we set up an order and just a few days later, I received three 90-day supply boxes (180 vials per box). I am so happy.

The poor people in Puerto Rico! Imagine being without electricity all this time. Hopefully, the electricity will begin to work in Puerto Rico again, the people can return to their jobs and the factory will once again produce the needed ingredient. But, for now, I am grateful to have this connection.

Video Sites for Aerobika Device

I walked outside onto the front porch with Michael this morning and there was the smell of summer was in the air and there was not a hint of a breeze. It immediately reminded me of the end of school and the smell of summer freedom as a kid. Summer was magical as a kid and I so hope kids these days have the same experiences. The last day of our local schools is tomorrow.

Summer is a great time to be with friends. This morning, I am meeting Lois for coffee over the pass. We will talk about the death of her beloved Peter over a year ago and our recent traveling experiences.

There was an Irish Fiddling rehearsal last evening but it was so late that I didn't haul my bass to it, just my music. We had a very in-depth conversation about the recent changes in the group and what I noticed at the gig last Friday. We went from a group playing background music to a group who was presenting a program. The audience ate it up. We discussed what drove the change and talked music, my favorite subject.

Before the rehearsal, I had a problem with my eye. Suddenly, it felt like there was a big smudge on my glasses. I cleaned them before realizing it was in my eye, not something on the glasses. It felt like my eye was swollen again and there was goop in it. During the conversation with the group, it began to clear. This morning, it is fine. Really strange.

I do also want to comment about the breathing device - Aerobika. Using it every morning, I have continued to keep my coughing under control, without any more drugs. It is an amazing device, which you can view how it actually works in the lungs on YouTube HERE  Also, this video will show how to use the device HERE  I highly encourage that you ask your doctor if it would be helpful for you. I can't believe the difference it has made in my daily life.

New Commitment

My brother and his Betty spent the night in Laughlin. It is a gambling town on a river south of Vegas where it was 108 degrees yesterday. Yikes! They should get home to their little town in New Mexico late today.

Mom and I spoke with her apartment owners about sharing some custom cupcakes and photos of her life the day after her 90th birthday in August. We knocked out a lot of the details for this event as well as the luncheon on her birthday.

Natalie sold her house! When they moved to the coastside over a decade ago, we introduced them to their real estate agent, Jim. He is the guy who is still recovering from a recent motorcycle accident. They bought a 2/2 townhouse, which was great until their added Oliver to the family. Winnie and Oliver have been sharing a room and they have promised almost 6th grader Winner that she will have her own room. They are moving closer to their school, where Natalie works.

Who bought their house? Jim's son, who went to school with our son! JR and his wife has been living with Jim and Sue for just over two years while saving every dollar for a down payment on a house. This townhouse is a very short walk/drive to Jim's house. Perfect location and perfect size for a one child family.

I have set another goal for myself. We see William at a concert in mid-July and I want to be five pounds lighter than I am right now. I know it's not huge but I will have to change some food choices and make sure I do something physical everyday in order to achieve that goal. Today is rehab so that is good. Tomorrow, I am going into the yards and do a lot of trimming, weeding and detail work. I will keep going until I can't. We will see how long I can go. Good physical work.

Mother and Son

It was fantastic to spend sometime with Chip and Betty yesterday. They spent a frantic week cleaning out her 99-year old mother's house, which she lived in for over 69-years. It was a complete mess. By the time we arrived yesterday, it was pretty empty but needed a final cleaning.

They were exhausted. Mom took us all to lunch at a local Il Fornaio, where we were able to talk, relieve some of their work stress and just enjoy each other. Mom was able to have some time with her son.

They were sharing that her mom had gone downhill from Betty's visit just a few weeks ago and they were expecting that they would be back soon. We offered our driveway for their motor home and a bedroom for her sister from Montana when their mom passes away. Their short term plan was they were heading home to New Mexico this morning.

Today, I am going to hang with my mom and take her out to lunch. We are also going to look for new bedding (40% off this week) for the front bedroom. She is also looking for new bedding for her bed.

Through the grapevine, I learned that the woman who began the ILD Support Group at my university hospital was retiring. Sally was an RN in the ILD Clinic and worked closely with the patients and was highly respected by the doctors. She taught me so much. It was all about information. I know a lot of support groups are about complaining about problems or doctors or personal issues. She kept the level of the group on a higher level by educating us. Giving us the information we all craved. If we had a major question, she brought in an expert in that field to address it. Nothing was off the table. She was always calm, smiled a lot, never in a hurry or frantic, thoughtful and a perfect moderator and support to the guest speakers. She will clearly be missed.

Spent

Friday, I was spent. A walking zombie making bad decisions, wrong turns and losing things. I even dated a check incorrectly, by two months. British Don stayed in the city on Friday night after his final medical appointment and flew home Saturday afternoon. Mom and I did what we needed to do then she went grocery shopping with me so I wouldn't have to go over the pass yesterday morning. On the way home Friday, there was a major wreck on the pass and it was ugly. Fortunately, Michael took the route from the north and stopped by the restaurant right by the ocean for a chat with the owner. Chuck sent gorgeous shrimp dinners home with him. I was so happy, I almost cried. We were able to rest for an hour before my Irish Fiddling gig.

I was worried that, being so exhausted, my focus on the music would not be very good. Would I play well? Could I get it together enough to make it happen? Well, it was rough but I actually played well. It was like I was so tired, so relaxed, that the music missed my brain and went right to my fingers. We expected a small group as the Warriors were playing their final game and the weather was wet and thick with fog. It was a surprise that the place was filled and it was a very responsive audience, which helped me with my attention issue. After the concert, I fell into bed and didn't move for nine hours. Still not enough sleep.

Saturday, I did some errands, cleaned up the house, did laundry then took a nap, which gave me more energy. This morning, Michael and I are going to drive with mom to San Jose area to see Chip and Betty, who are in town to clean out her 99-year old mother's house for sale. We are all going to lunch together.

My concerns: I have been too exhausted for too long. Post road trip, house guest, gigs, medical stuff. Not enough downtime. I worry about getting a cold or worse. This coming week is my regular schedule except for a meeting in the city at my university hospital on Thursday evening. I should be able to get caught up with the sleep and I hope it will be enough to keep any illnesses at bay. I have healthy menus and food in the house so we are set for success. Roll in exercise and I should be on the mend.

Facing One Day at a Time

British Don just left this morning. He was so not a house guest but very easy to have around. This was a trip to see doctors, all is well so he is going home to Oklahoma City a happy boy.

Yesterday was one heck of a day. Out the door at 6:15AM. Dressed, fed and ready to go. No traffic.

First appointment was with the nutritionist.He looked back on my medical records for each time I was weighed at an appointment since our last visit almost a year ago. He remarked that I was incredibly stable. When we weighed-in, I was less than a pound over my average weight. I went nuts. He said not to worry, stay focused and it would come off quickly.

I would like to lose 5 pounds but since I am not doing my daily workouts, I don't know if that is possible. So, my new focus is to do some physical work everyday.

Through incredible traffic, I worked my way out of the city to appointment #2. Laser eye surgery. I arrived early, of course, spent about thirty-minutes in pre-op answering lots of questions before Dr. W. arrived to work his magic. The laser treatment was to reduce the pressure in my right eye as it had gone up to a frightening 45.

I think it took all of five-minutes. There was a bit of pain when the laser got close to a nerve but all in all, pretty painless. But, everything was blurry. I was worried. Would I get my site back? By the time I got home, it was no better so I took a nap! It was a bit better and it gave me hope that I would be able to see again. Within about two hours, my vision returned and I was even able to play at the Irish Fiddling rehearsal last night.

But, I have to say, I am done. Exhausted. Not functioning well. We have no groceries in the house, I have a gig tonight from 7-9PM, we are meeting my brother and his wife (including mom) for lunch Sunday while they are in town cleaning out her mom's house and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. One day at a time. It the only thing I can do.

I am on my way to mom's for some doctor stuff, shopping and maybe trying to buy some groceries.

What a week.

Feeling the Pressure

It is 6AM. I am leaving to drive deep into the city to see the nutritionist for the first time in almost a year. From that appointment, I have another one far south of the city at 11:00AM.

Yesterday morning, my right eye was really bothering me. When blinking, I could see the dark veins in my eyes. I also noticed a darkening area, which really was alarming. Though I had an appointment to see my hip eye doctor next week, I needed him now. ASAP.

By 9:30, I was in his office worried that the glaucoma was out of control and I was losing my eye site. Something was really wrong. When he first checked my eye pressures he said, "Bingo!" The good eye was a nice 11 but the bad eye...45. OMG. That was way too high.

He dilated my eyes and discovered nothing else. THANKFULLY! No damage to the optic nerve, no tears, no nothing. I reminded him that a year ago the other eye had this problem, he treated it with a laser and it was still doing well. Time for the same procedure to be done on the bad eye.

Today, I will be registered into the hospital where I go to the rehab class then we will go into a room with the eye laser. It is rather painless and I can even drive home afterward.

Something to remember, I have all of this as a side effect from the prednisone. My doctor believes that the medication caused the high pressure in my eyes, not only the prednisone pills but also my inhalers. If you are on a steroid for any amount of time other than a quick step-down, please have your eye pressures checked.

An iPhone Tale

It's a good thing I am keeping everything loose. Plans change by the minute. I'm just flowing with it all and it has been fun. Michael had to run over the hill yesterday morning then collected Don's watch, which was being repaired. Don was still asleep as I tiptoed making our bed before getting dressed, trying hard not to make any noise as he choose to sleep in William's former room with just a wall and a closet separating us.

Finally, Don woke up, I made some of his favorite tea, he enjoyed a Scotch Egg and a piece of coffee cake. Then, we chatted. It was with a start that I realized that I forgotten about rehab class and I had to run to pick up Jeannie! Michael was on his way home and we waved at each other on Highway 1.

Rehab was hard but it felt good. It was a very small class, unusual for a Tuesday.

The rehearsal schedule for last night was rescheduled for Thursday evening, just before our Friday night gig. Instead of going to dinner in the city with Michael and Don and some of Don's friends last evening, I stayed home, did some paperwork and just rested. I am off to bed early.

Here is a great story: We made appointments to have our two iPhone batteries replaced at the Apple Store in the Mall on Sunday. We had an early breakfast on the Avenue and arrived over an hour early to the appointment. Finally, we checked in. We jumped through all the hoops but really enjoyed the young men who helped us. They inspected the phones, I signed some papers and they said the phones would be ready in an hour.

We walked to Nordstrom and had a snack. Back to Apple, they brought the phones out to us. Mine? Great. Credit card. $29.95 for the new battery. Done. Thank you very much.

Michael's phone? "We had a problem," the nice young man said. My mind started to go to the dark side. Oh no! Are we going to have to buy a new phone? They took the old battery out, installed the new one and it would not hold a charge. There was something wrong with a component in the phone so they were now asking us if we wanted a new phone. Get this: a new phone for $29.95, the cost of the new battery.

"Yes, please!" It took over an hour to download everything and to set it up. No problem. He has a new iPhone for a total price of $29.95.

He has incredible luck.

Company

The eagle has landed! British Don arrived last evening via Uber. We had a great dinner of beans and toast - so British - and breakfast this morning of Avocado Toast and the Scotch Eggs. Also a hit!

They are hanging together today and will meet this evening with their friend Marco at his restaurant and Don's other friend, John will also meet them there. I will be at an Irish Fiddling rehearsal and will be snoring by the time they get home.

Today, I am going to rehab class with Jeannie and plan to workout hard. The nutritionist appointment is Thursday and any workout is a good thing. I am a bit exhausted from yesterday's two eye doctor appointments for mom. It turned into an all day event and I didn't get home until 4:30. Very late for me.

Eyes. My right eye is still bothering me since our road trip in Oklahoma City. I think I had a bleed, phoned my doctor after we got home but I think he misunderstood the message and replied that it was normal and no problem. I see him next Thursday. The only reason I am not freaking out is that I know there is nothing that can be done unless it is a full detachment, which it is not. I don't see any flashing lights. I had a posterior vitreous detachment a couple of years ago, again there was nothing they could do.

My poor eyes have taken a hit from the glaucoma due to prednisone. I am so grateful that with my diet and exercise program, I haven't developed diabetes. Bob, who is a recipient of new lungs in my rehab class, got diabetes from the large dosages of prednisone immediately following the transplants. We talked about it last Thursday and he remarked that it was difficult managing both new lungs and diabetes. But, with all the side effects, it is still a rather miraculous drug.

Moving Forward

Still not fully recovered from the trip, but we are looking forward to British Don's arrival this afternoon. He and Michael will meet me at the house after his doctor appointment as I will be with mom all day seeing two eye doctors. They will probably beat me home. Dinner is already made as is breakfast for the morning.

It is a very busy week ahead for me so I am trying not to feel overwhelmed and take just one day at a time. Michael will be Don's chauffeur so they will have plenty of bonding time, which they really need. They have become such good friends.

Natalie, who I hired right from the Conservatory back in 2001 to teach Pre-k-5th grade classroom music education and the 2/3 and 4/5 choirs, is moving. After sharing her marvelous children with me through the years, she must leave the coastside. She teaches at an amazing private school, which her children also attend. The problem? The school is a miserable commute of 45-60 minutes each way, the kids have after-school activities so they often arrive home late, exhausted, hungry and ready for bed. They are planning to move closer to the school to make their life more sane. I am going to deeply miss them. Winnie and Oliver are my favorite children on earth and I am so thankful that I have been able to participate in their childhood. We will be together and see each other during the summer and vacations, I hope!

The countdown is happening in my family to welcome Hailey Colette sometime around June 24. My parents had only two grandchildren so this will be the first of the next generation. Shelley and Russ will be amazing parents and it will be a joy to watch her grow.

It is times like these that I realize no matter the illness or struggles, the world keeps spinning. Babies are born, people die but the tide still ebbs and flows. The birds nest, the animals hunt for food and nature continues. This was so true when I was struggling with deep grief after my dad's death after elective someday surgery. What helped the most was to put the top down on the car, turn on some nice music and drive along the coast. The ocean. The breeze. The hawks circling over prey. The beauty of the sun setting. It was a reminder that life goes on. I would have to go on.

The older I get and the sicker I become, the more the rhythms of life are louder and clearer. One day, I will realize that I am no longer able to keep up and it is my time to let nature take its course. May it be many years from now. I will cherish and be grateful of each moment of each day until that final day arrives.

Exit Stage Right

I feel like we are finally settled after arriving home just over a week ago. British Don arrives Monday from Oklahoma City for a week of doctors appointments. We are ready. The refrigerator is full.

Rehab was a lot harder yesterday, which I was expecting. The bike got to me. What was really interesting was the conversation we had before class. A group of us were talking about the suicide pills. Comments were made that we put animals down when they are in pain or reach a certain point when they can't move. Why don't we have the same option? Of the four of us, three said they were interested in this exit strategy down the road. Being in pain or not having any quality of life would spark the decision to take the pills to end their lives. According to them, this is not legal yet here in California but it is working its way through the congressional system.

I was the hold out. I fight so hard to live everyday. I push myself to move, eat well, stay positive and always trying to look forward. It is hard for me to consider a point in my life where the future is so bleak or I am in so much pain that I would rather end it all before nature runs its course. Pain. I think that could be the game changer for me. If I was in constant pain and unable to function, maybe these pills might be something I would consider but it would have to be extreme pain.

What I loved about the whole conversation was that it was an open, honest discussion where none of us had to hold back our feelings because of scaring loved ones. They had approached their children about taking these pills but they didn't want to talk about it.

There we were, together as people who are not only classmates but have become friends, were able to talk about an uncomfortable subject with each other. People who are all walking the same path, some of us a bit further down the road. I love this current rehab class.