I feel like we are finally settled after arriving home just over a week ago. British Don arrives Monday from Oklahoma City for a week of doctors appointments. We are ready. The refrigerator is full.
Rehab was a lot harder yesterday, which I was expecting. The bike got to me. What was really interesting was the conversation we had before class. A group of us were talking about the suicide pills. Comments were made that we put animals down when they are in pain or reach a certain point when they can't move. Why don't we have the same option? Of the four of us, three said they were interested in this exit strategy down the road. Being in pain or not having any quality of life would spark the decision to take the pills to end their lives. According to them, this is not legal yet here in California but it is working its way through the congressional system.
I was the hold out. I fight so hard to live everyday. I push myself to move, eat well, stay positive and always trying to look forward. It is hard for me to consider a point in my life where the future is so bleak or I am in so much pain that I would rather end it all before nature runs its course. Pain. I think that could be the game changer for me. If I was in constant pain and unable to function, maybe these pills might be something I would consider but it would have to be extreme pain.
What I loved about the whole conversation was that it was an open, honest discussion where none of us had to hold back our feelings because of scaring loved ones. They had approached their children about taking these pills but they didn't want to talk about it.
There we were, together as people who are not only classmates but have become friends, were able to talk about an uncomfortable subject with each other. People who are all walking the same path, some of us a bit further down the road. I love this current rehab class.
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