Anxiety

Jeannie looked awful when I picked her up for the rehab class on Tuesday. She looked frail, tired and just not well. Yes, she is on hospice but I was still surprised what a difference a few days made to her appearance.

We talked about her situation while driving to class and I am continuing to learn a lot about the whole process of hospice. It can be brutal. Apparently, she is not dying fast enough and they have given her a couple more months in the program to prove that she is failing. Great, with sarcasm.

With that on her shoulders, she was taking too much lorazepam for anxiety, yet was still showing signs of major stress. They changed her medication to 10 mgs. of Prozac. She was very nervous about taking this particular drug every day forever. She shared that with the anxiety, she was now also experiencing depression.

There it was. That was why she looked so awful and not her usual self. I was seeing the depression before the change of medication the day before had taken its full effect.

She is not the type of person to lay down and die. Kind of reminds me of me. She wants to stay out of bed all day, eat homemade food and exercise. I will know that she is close to death when she is unable to do those three activities.

I feel honored to spend this time of her life with her. I am blessed that we can talk about the hard stuff and I can offer some relief by just listening.